I know that tantrums are annoying. I live with a toddler, I bear witness to anywhere from three to roughly five hundred tantrums a day. It doesn’t get easier. The screaming doesn’t become any more pleasant. It’s brutal. It’s also completely normal toddler behavior.
It’s all well and good to talk about toddler brain chemistry, but that doesn’t exclude children from learning proper behavior while out in public. As a society, we don’t play the “let them run wild until a certain age” game to any child’s benefit. You’re preparing a future adult, not indulging whims here.
What worked on me, apparently, was being taken into the bathroom until I quieted down, no matter how long that took.
My mom would tell me, over and over again, that when I was quiet, I could go back out into public, or I could sit in the bathroom for hours. I learned pretty damn quick to shut up so I could go back out into the fun world - not to mention, the bathrooms are saving the rest of the people from the kid’s loud noises and shrieking.
Tantrums are one thing, but shrieking, screaming, running, and physically lashing out to excess are another entirely. I’ve seen a tantrum, and I’ve seen a kid with reinforced bad behavior who’s learned to scream louder.
Despite the fact that the child is a child, and we all understand that, if you take said child out into public, you are responsible fully for that child, and you do have an obligation to not disturb those around you by the best means necessary for both parties. So take the kid outside or into the bathroom (no, it won’t make the situation worse unless you huff and puff and run out like it’s a problem) and save our eardrums while teaching your kid that no, tantrums are not okay at any age, despite the fact that they will happen.
Bolding is mine for emphasis.
I will never stop agreeing with this so hard. You can control your kids to an extent. It’s not impossible. People complimented my parents on my public behavior. That behavior was learned and reinforced.